We spent a relatively quiet Christmas Day with the kids and the dogs and my parents. My son and I agreed that even though it's been eight years, we are all still adjusting to our new definition of family, post-divorce. For him, "family" just doesn't have the same meaning when he has to divide his time and thoughts between households. And I am, at the moment, stressed out at the thought of the children getting on the somewhat icy roads to travel from here to the Dallas (TX) area to spend the next week with their father. I am obsessively checking road conditions and praying the temperatures keep inching higher. Roads are pretty much normal here, but are more icy and treacherous south of Oklahoma City and into north Texas.
Yesterday, however, we managed to live in the present (perfect for Christmas, don't you think?). I am so very thankful to have both my parents with us - they are 90 and 91, so it is a special blessing - and we had a joyful celebration full of conversation, food and some NBA basketball. Before opening gifts, however, I wanted to take pictures of the children with their dogs. I present the loves of my life and my reason for being today and tomorrow:
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| Post-wrestling match on Christmas morning |
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| The merriest of Christmases ... |
My goal for the coming year is to help us all find a comfortable meaning for family, to relax into that and to consciously be what one another needs. My children have spoken clearly that this is what they need from me, as opposed to working more and being home less. So that is what we will do. Pray for us!
Tomorrow: A girl and her terrier and how being the quiet child makes it hard to be noticed!
Thanks for sharing this. Had similar thoughts lately about the meaning of "home." Four years post divorce for us and my daughter said she feels like she has 2 houses but no home. Also said she still hopes her dad and I will get back together. Wow. I feel like I work hard to make a comfortable, nurturing family and home. So it's hard to hear your kids say they feel that way.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading - and commenting. It IS hard to hear, particularly when we run ourselves ragged to make everything the same. Perhaps that is the lesson: it isn't the same. The children seem to know this better than we do sometimes!
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