Saddest dog ever ...

My son returned to college this morning, after just arriving back home from a week at his father's last night. Blue was SO HAPPY to see him, then promptly fell into a state of moping as items began streaming from the bedroom to the car. The energy coming from Blue was clear: "You told me you were staying with me a while and now you are already leaving again. I don't like this."

It makes me sad, but I don't know what to do - or how - to help Blue over these humps. About the time he really settles into a rhythm, the boy comes home again for a day or a few days. Blue is ecstatic and gets into a groove. Then he's gone again. I try to tell him, to explain to him, but there isn't a schedule and he simply doesn't understand why his boy has to be gone so much. It makes my heart hurt for him (and for me, if I'm honest). I need to ponder it some more and try to figure out how to ensure our reigning senior citizen understands and accepts that this is how life is now.

Poor guy!

Still thankful

Hard as it is for me to believe, my "baby" will graduate from high school in just a few months. Bless her heart, she is far too much like her mother - stubborn, hard-headed, independent. It is hard for her to ask for help and even harder for her to accept it. I adore her with every fiber of my being!

She is also the peace maker - concerned that her brother and I clash so often. She doesn't want to make waves and is tightly-wrapped, always in control. These are not always good qualities, as she tries so hard to not make waves. I am not proud to have contributed to these qualities but hope we can - together - soften the edges in the short time we have left together.

My daughter can do anything she sets her mind to; I have seen this as she has grown. She has pulled herself together when it would have been easier to crumble when she was no longer the focus of her father's attention. She has faced criticism and disbelief to become not only a damned fine percussionist, but a talented marching snare drummer and a two-year drum line section leader. She has a heart of gold and a will of steel.

Two years ago, a rescue dog we were fostering attacked her on a cold Sunday night in February. She calmly called me for help and then begged me not to put him down (I did). We still mourn Sully and we both still carry the physical scars of his final attack. She is strong and she is beautiful and she is committed to helping others, regardless of species.

A year ago, we brought home another rescue boy. Named Jacob Marley for the holiday season, he wiggled and snuggled his way into our hearts. By summer's end, we knew he was here to stay. He sleeps nightly on my daughter's bed, taking up as much or more space than she takes up; he is her special protector, much as Blue protects her brother.

"A girl and her dog."

This Christmas season, I want to tell her "thank you" - for being my child, for gracing me with her life and laughter and love. And for showing me each and every day what it means to be strong and feminine and a woman of character. It has been a wild ride thus far but my children and dogs keep me grounded. And they are teaching me to live in and appreciate the present for the gift it is (although I am admittedly a very slow learner!).

Christmas thankfulness

We spent a relatively quiet Christmas Day with the kids and the dogs and my parents. My son and I agreed that even though it's been eight years, we are all still adjusting to our new definition of family, post-divorce. For him, "family" just doesn't have the same meaning when he has to divide his time and thoughts between households. And I am, at the moment, stressed out at the thought of the children getting on the somewhat icy roads to travel from here to the Dallas (TX) area to spend the next week with their father. I am obsessively checking road conditions and praying the temperatures keep inching higher. Roads are pretty much normal here, but are more icy and treacherous south of Oklahoma City and into north Texas.

Yesterday, however, we managed to live in the present (perfect for Christmas, don't you think?). I am so very thankful to have both my parents with us - they are 90 and 91, so it is a special blessing - and we had a joyful celebration full of conversation, food and some NBA basketball. Before opening gifts, however, I wanted to take pictures of the children with their dogs. I present the loves of my life and my reason for being today and tomorrow:

Post-wrestling match on Christmas morning

The merriest of Christmases ...

My goal for the coming year is to help us all find a comfortable meaning for family, to relax into that and to consciously be what one another needs. My children have spoken clearly that this is what they need from me, as opposed to working more and being home less. So that is what we will do. Pray for us!

Tomorrow: A girl and her terrier and how being the quiet child makes it hard to be noticed!

Why dogs are easier than children ...

... dogs don't have bank debit cards, unlike college-age children. Dogs don't make purchases from unsecured online sites. And dogs don't get calls from the fraud department of their bank saying the account has been compromised and there are attempted charges. From France.

Enough said ...